Mind Pieces

As I began preparing brunch, a ‘new’ self-inflicted routine to organize and prepare both brunch and supper, I glanced again at the puzzle I struggled to complete.

I wouldn’t say I was enjoying this puzzle. I dislike the photo; the shape and size of the pieces, the low-grade pieces, and the photo colors are a mess.

Does society and your steadfast mind ramblings condition you to believe that you must complete what you have started- like me? If not – you are one of the lucky ones!

To never give up, finish what is started, and the mindset that slow and steady will win the race – has haunted me in many life options and decisions. I tend to delay decisions, the inevitable, and place tremendous pressure and stress on myself to finish the assignment or duty. I push forward and find a resolution, which is the honorable thing to do.

That attitude is what ‘you are supposed to do’ – correct?

Does this mind battle also fill your thoughts and cause distress? I mean, never giving up, concluding what you started, and perseverance is the key to a successful life- right?

If you don’t finish that project or commitment, give up, or decide that ‘it’ is not for you – you will label yourself and feel everyone else will also.

This mindset made it problematic for me to say, “NO,” “ENOUGH,” ‘I am DONE.” I never ‘considered’ it was okay not to continue. If I devoted and dedicated myself to something or someone – I must complete that ‘undertaking’- no choice.

As I continued to prepare our brunch-some egg concoction in a casserole dish with bacon and cheese- I thought again about this stupid puzzle. It is only a puzzle. Yet, it represents that feeling and little voice inside my head – that says, “just finish the damn thing, it was a gift, what is the big deal, what is wrong with you?

Think about how you measure the success- of others and yourself? I know the puzzle analogy is silly – but with more essential things in life, don’t we still pressure, stress, and torment our minds to move forward and continue despite the emotional pain?

Do we know that we have a choice when it comes down to it?

I brought down my puzzle board from the top of my fridge and the yellow plastic little baskets, where I separated pieces and colors and placed them on my table.

I decided to work on it a bit while the food cooks.

I tried a piece that I thought fits – nope.

I tired another- nope. Fuck.

Another – for frig sake, I fucking hate this puzzle.

It is not fun.

I glance at the two other unopened puzzles on my kitchen shelf. I want to start anew – but that is giving up, right? Should I continue completing this dreaded one and watch as I slowly dedicate fewer moments to work on it? It feels more like a chore instead of a hobby.

I battle a bit in this freaky mind of mine.

Should I say ‘fuck it, and start a new one? Is that wrong? Whom am I trying to impress- I mean, this is supposed to be fun, right?

So I guess my reasoning for this post would be to open your mind to think about what you are dedicating and committing yourself to? Is it worth it? Does it add to your life; or take away?

I will treasure my Dad’s simple advice, which stated, “If a situation or circumstance can add to your life MORE than it takes away – it ( your commitment, dedication, energy) is worth it.”

I check the oven to see how the egg casserole is doing and then go to my kitchen drawer that holds cling wrap, tin foil, zip lock bags, etc. I bring the zip lock bags to the table and place loose puzzle pieces in baggies. I again examine the amount I have completed and smile – I have learned what design, art, and type of pieces work well to continue my enjoyment, and these are not it! I break up the pieces and place them all in baggies.

I respectfully placed each baggie in the box they came in and put the box in the goodwill collection near the front door. I am confident someone will adore this puzzle’s artwork and the challenge that comes with it. When the ‘right’ person completes it – they will grin.

What different choices will you make in your life- remember- you have a choice.

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